Crazy mix of emotions and thoughts, my mind could explode from all the information that are swimming in my head, crowding over each other and refusing to leave.

I love Winter Wonderland and White Christmas. I like just about any versions there are available.

I've heard of David Lynch through Mulholland Drive which I have not yet watch, but always wanted to. Gin once sent The Alphabet to me, but I was alternating the tabs between blogs and stuff so it didn't have much impact on me. I saw it again just now. I am absofuckingly freaked out, it makes me just want to curse all the time, that fucking shit. I don't know whether I'm horrified or in awe. I then proceeded to watch Six Figures Getting Sick, it's one sick video okay. And then I watched The Grandmother which was so freakingly spooky I had to stop after ten minutes.

I don't get spooked out by horror/ghost movies, but this David Lynch is one sick dude!

I needed to calm my nerves and somehow I went on to Youtube Disney classics. I have to say, I loved The Little Mermaid. Sequels in general suck, but I liked The Little Mermaid 2 as well. And I loved Pocahontas (OH John Smith). I used to pretend to scrub the floors the way emo Cinderella did. There was once I don't know why but I suddenly stood up and swung an imaginary kitten around ala The Nutcracker Prince (not Disney) and everyone was laughing at me, damn malu, it was like I was in a trance or something wtf. I used to brush my hair and fling them around as though I'm a Disney princess with their big flowy hair (think Ariel and Jasmine). Pinocchio, Anastasia, Mulan.

Funny how children cartoons spreading messages of hope and love are sometimes adapted from dark, sadistic stories - Prince Eric married another princess and the mermaid turned into sea foam, Cinderella's sisters cut their feet in order to fit the glass shoe and eventually had their eyes pecked by pigeons. E.T.A. Hoffman's The Nutcracker & The Mouse King was a dark story with no sugarplum fairies at all.

There are also the dead romantic love songs in the Disney cartoons - Kiss The Girl, If I Never Knew You, Can You Feel The Love Tonight - we've heard them a thousand times, but have you listened to the lyrics? And then you watch the sequence in the cartoons and they're all so heartbreakingly in love and you wonder if you'd ever find that kind of storybook love in the real world.

But from the kind of stories I've been hearing recently, it just confirms my ideas on love and monogamy - the ones that I've learnt from my very own home. I could fall on my knees and have tears streaming down my cheeks and my heart hollowed out wishing love for the people around me, but is never up to me.

It's sad, really. If I could love like Sorcha and Red, Liadan and Bran, Fainne and Darragh - I would say that it is my greatest achievement in my entire lifetime. There was a quote in the book where Father Brian said he wouldn't wish for anyone to love like that, for when the other half leaves the world, your heart leaves too.

In my world, nobody has ever experienced a love like that.

I'm down with flu and fever, sucks. I blame MidValley.

I just realised that almost every entry I have posted since the holidays had something about the movies that I've watched. As you can see I'm an expert couch potato already. No movie updates for now because I haven't been watching any since the last post. Except for Transformers 2, and well, I couldn't get the fighting scenes because I just saw a whole mess of colours swirling around. Hmm.

I finally have the pictures up my walls (after like what, a year?), yes Amelia, your Audreys are up! Thanks so much for them :) Just a problem though, the cheap IKEA frames that I got are quite fragile up the wall, it's like they can fall off any moment, and I tend to abuse the wall when I'm terribly upset... What if in the midst of abusing the wall everything comes tumbling down? Wtf. I know, I'm not that strong, right...

Some pictures from Thursday night, it took me a while to find out that it was actually a Black Eyed Peas product launch event - most number of ugly pictures of me taken in one night. Fuh! I looked like I was high on drugs or something and I kept pulling all these annoying faces, and I remember staring at my reflection in the mirror posing and giggling and Chee Weng was like WTF LETS GO BIE.


BOOM. My hair covered it :(

That's the only normal looking picture of me because it was the only one taken before The Evil Glass consumption...


BOOM BOOM POW!




Xindi & TJ. Damn cute.




Azrin & Boyfriend


Gin & Fugz. Damn cute!


Gin, Shuyan, baldspot girl


Gins sexy bod wth


BOB/BOW/BOOB/POOP/MOM/POPO - Fugz should have won the BoomBoomPow competition that night.


Our own Lady Gaga X u_u




The not-so-dark TJ! He is my fahder, but quite a mean man.






Ian & Xindi.

Ian: Sam, you want beer?
Sam: Nope.
Ian: *stares in disbelief as though no one in the world had ever refused beer before me*


Shuyan, my Spot The Difference partner.


wtf?


It's his birthday next week yo!

Hi Gin! I know I promised you a long entry but I have no idea what to write about.

It Was 1941 - I'm writing a story based on this post in a role-play I did back in 2005. Jack was so damn dramatic over there, but now I'm contemplating on making him a patriotic and brash teenager instead. Wtf. Feedback?

I saw Hitchcock's Psycho and I quite like it :D It was slow in the beginning and I really thought it was a robber-and-thief story, but I was quite hooked by the second half. It didn't have the same horror effect on me as it did the audience of its day, which reminds me of the Hypodermic Theory on media violence or something but anyway, it was still quite a good watch. Next on my list? Vertigo!

Watching his memorial tonight, for the first time, I am grasping what his death really means.

And he will never know of the kind words said in his memorial, and how much people love him despite the slanderous tabloids. I don't believe in the afterworld, but how I wish that he knows how loved he is.

It's strange, spilling tears for a man I've never met and, in a way, barely know.

"You ever had something you wanted your whole life, and you get it, right there in front of you - nothing standing in your way... except money." - Jack Pryor, American Dreams.

The 'something' that Jack Pryor wanted was for his son JJ to attend college. To be the first in the family to attend college.

Again, then what do we do?

"...catching the ball even though your fingers are freezing and feel like they're going to fall off, but no way you're going to let go of that thing. And I loved it. Then all of a sudden it was about something else. Notre Dame, and - and my dad, and the scholarship. It didn't feel the same anymore. I didn't feel the same." - JJ Pryor, American Dreams.

Well then, what do we do?

I played this little game with myself where I chose three people and guessed what would be their beverage of choice when they walk into 7-11 in the middle of the night. I got one of them right, one of them half right and one of them wrong. The one that I got wrong - I was positive that it was going to be right, but the answer came as a complete surprise. It was nothing like that person to buy such a drink on a random trip to a convenience store. Given recent events, I wonder if I'm getting out of touch with this person, that the said person is changing and I'm not catching up quick enough... or if the person is simply choosing a perspective that the person believes it is when it is not: being somebody that you are not.

Anyhow, it wasn't an answer that I like and I'm still pretty sure that you'd buy Coke when you enter 7-11. Tsk.

---

I saw Roman Holiday and I thought Audrey Hepburn was exquisite in it. I think I may even like this movie more than Breakfast At Tiffany's. Gregory Peck was entertaining to watch too, but I will always remember him as Atticus Finch in To Kill A Mockingbird :) Roman Holiday is fun to watch, and I love love love love LOVE the ending <3<3<3 Also, I was very surprised to see the name Dalton Trumbo in the credits - he was the author of Johnny Got His Gun! The person who wrote a romantic comedy about a princess' adventure in Rome is the same person who wrote about a soldier in WW1 who was bombed and had no eyes no mouth no nose no ears no hands and no legs, trapped in his own mind and unable to die? My respect for Dalton Trumbo is on a completely different level now.

• Gran Torino was quite painful to watch because I don't think anyone should be as mean as the protoganist was, but the ending was very moving (I was unaware of the Clint Eastwood movie ending trend).
• Speaking of Clint Eastwood, I want to watch Dirty Harry.
• I was planning to watch East of Eden (James Dean <3), but Youtube doesn't have it so it's going to be Roman Holiday next (Audrey Hepburn <3)
• Don't judge! If you know my current situation you'll know that Youtube is my only choice.
• In my future home my carpenter husband will build me a shelf and on that shelf will be original DVDs of movies from the 1950s-1980s that I love. Modern movies also la.
• ...And the 1920s silent films as well, if I can get my hands on them.
• I like watching movies in almost-empty cinemas :)
  

Hello, today I bring you fun stuff from Roliga Prylar :) It's a Swedish online shop, yes, these stuff are for sale and I almost thought of buying... until I realised they don't ship overseas u_u


This would be my gift for Ing!


Hilarious, no?


Hey babe, your Christmas gift whensamisamillionaire :D


A heat pillow! Sweet, I want this. Good for silly freezer cinemas.





Plastic bubble popping keyring!


"Bloody shower curtain"


Super Mario wall decorations. I want.



Aye.

I think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. Actually, there's only one side for me to wake up from.

I've snapped at several people today and I'm very sorry about it - I just needed some alone-time after spending half my day sitting at the same table with a group of strangers yesterday. When I say that I'm anti-social people think that I made that up. A lecturer once said, "you think you're anti-social, but you do have friends in class, right?" Well I wish that that was the case too.

It's not that I'm proud of this issue or anything, I'm telling because I'm sick of people asking me why am I so quiet, why do I look bored, why am I so weird... It's not that I'm stuck up or that I don't make the effort. I really do want to be that person you could easily talk to and would like to invite her out again after the first, but I'm not that person. I'm just me.

---

I watched Rebel Without A Cause. I found it okay, but gosh James Dean was so hot. Hot! Natalie Wood was kind of annoying in the movie but that's just my opinion. When I saw the opening police station scene where James Dean screamed his now well-known "You're tearing me apart!" line, I realised I've actually watched the first ten minutes on Astro a few years ago... wtf? And I replayed the part where he imitated siren sounds at least ten times. Now I want a James Dean poster (the Cris Consani one doesn't count because he's so tiny in it). Who's going to UK?

Here's a quote from the movie I can agree to.

Plato: We don't really encourage children, they're such a bother.
Judy: Oh I quite agree, I just can't stand it when they cry. What do you do with them when they cry?
James: Hah, drown 'em like puppies, hah!

Strictly speaking, of course, drowning puppies is a very atrocious act and nobody should be doing that!

---

Pictures of my family smiling for the camera on Father's Day. I'm sorry I don't have warm lovey things to caption the pictures with... Actually, no, not really, I'm not really sorry about it.




Superstar of the night... Everyone had an individual picture taken with him u_u


Marcus Steven Wilson Malcolm Benjamin








Marcus Benjamin Stephanie Malcolm Steven Wilson Samantha


Remember... Truth is a manipulation! Wtf.


Daughters