Friends I think of as my confidant and I care about, I look for them once in a while.

And if I'm invited, I go along. If I'm not invited, I try not to think about it.

No pressure, no suspicions, no wondering, no ill-feelings, no doubting.



And for some reason, Chee Weng and I had a lot less disagreements since then, and life had just been unfolding wonderfully. There are the little bits that really annoy me and the little bits that sometimes make me lose control and cry,

I don't share these stories with my friends, but with him it's so natural - I just blab everything to him with not a care in the world.


(The flower on her hair was my doing... it was my dog's ribbon :O)

Things are going well between my mum and I. I told my mum about this cool bodysuit I saw, and she told me I should get it because it's the latest trend. I didn't even say that I want it and she already gave me the money. She just loves looking pretty and dressing up, if she'd set up one of those make-up/fashion blog I think she'd garner quite some mummy readers ;D And of course, she's got a really cool collection of boots and shoes that don't fit my tiny feet, it's really quite depressing :(


My brother just asked me to go shopping with him. I couldn't make it, but I think it'd have been fun. Sometimes we exchange our favourite shop brands. I try hard to embed in him that he shouldn't look too much into brands, and at the same time introduced Pull & Bear and Cotton On to him.

My sister just flew to Vietnam. Starting next year, she'd be travelling almost every month. I wonder what it's like to be constantly flying? Packing must be a bitch.

I rarely take pictures with my family. Of course, I don't even have a camera to begin with. Some day I'd like to have my own camera.


I wish I can hang out with Ing more. It'd be another three months until I can see her again, and I so want her to meet my friends, and my friends to meet her. With Ing I don't have to worry if she'd take it well with my friends, because she's so great with people, and I'm pretty confident she'd get along well with my girlfriends!

The only bad egg is this final piece of assignment that I've been dreading to do, and really, I'm pretty much out of time. But it's dreadful. My favourite assignments are all done. :(

So, if there are people who have friends, and want to say things about me to their friends, it's okay with me. If their friends are to be swayed by their perceptions of me, I'm okay with that.

Because sometimes I don't know who I am. I am different when I mix with different people. I am constantly changing and constantly evolving. But what I understand is that these people here are the people that I am comfortable with, and I like being around them, and even among them I am not the same person as I am with one of another.

So maybe it's not your fault if you doubt my loyalty, or my sincerity, or my true intentions. It's just my failure to be true to you and let you know what I'm really thinking.

Because I cannot even manage that with my own family.

One of the biggest lesson I've learnt this year - if a friend makes you doubt yourself, she or he is not worth your time. Chee Weng tried to warn me so many times, and it took me so long to realise this.

I'm glad I'm over that now. I know who loves me, and it makes me love myself. That's the way it should be.